Archive | July, 2013

The Little Stradivarius — MacKenzie Furniss!

30 Jul

gaze stradivari

 

Good Evening.

I can assure you that Antonio Stradavari  was born in 1644, and it is more than likely that he was born in Cremona, Italy — although there are no records which record his birth or his early life. However, his mother and father were from that city, and there are records showing the birth of his older brothers – Giuseppe Giulia Cesare, Carlo Felice, and Giovanni Battista- between 1623 and 1628.

Despite the lack of official records, Antonio’s date of birth is deducible from the labels he placed inside some of the magical violins that he created. However, there are no records or information available on his early childhood, and the first evidence of his presence in Cremona is the label of his oldest surviving violin from 1666.

On the television news tonight, the BBC saw fit to devote a whole news item to the fact that the celebrated violinist Min-Jin Kym has been reunited with her ” Strad” some considerable time after it had been stolen from her while she was having coffee in a cafe somewhere near Euston in London in 2010.

As the violin is worth a cool £1.2 Million pounds and is among only 300 or so violins made by Antonio Stradivarius and dates back to 1696, it is one of those good news stories that you like to hear — and which to be frank we don’t hear often enough on our news bulletins!

A Strad– any Strad — is a wonderful instrument. The Stradivari family ( not just Antonio ) were renowned makers of stringed instruments, and it is said that each one has its own voice and is absolutely unique in terms of exact pitch and tone.

To be dubbed ” A Stradivarius” in any field is to be lauded as being the best, the most unique, the most wonderful and the most treasured in the class or category. It is also a term which is synonymous with something that is rare or precious — something that was made by the master of all masters.

There may be many attempts at making a copy— but only a Stradivarius is a Stradivarius!

So there I am, sitting on my couch, thinking about the return of a violin worth over £1M, and listening to how precious and valuable and rare it is — when I notice a tweeted message on my computer.

What grabs my attention is that it comes from a man called Chris Riddle and essentially it says “HELP!”

The subject of the cry for help turns out to be much rarer and far more valuable than any old violin — whether made by Stradivarius or not — and her name is MacKenzie Furniss from Alloa in Scotland.

MacKenzie is 9 years old, loves playing the guitar, loves One Direction and doing all the things that a 9 year old loves to do. However, Mackenzie has been diagnosed with relapsed neuroblastoma, an extremely aggressive childhood cancer.

For those of you who are not familiar with Neuroblastoma, it is a supposedly rare disease, yet it affects around 650 children in the United States alone each year, and roughly 100 UK kids every 12 months.

Mackenzie was first diagnosed with stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma in October 2009 when she was just 5 years old. She was treated at the Yorkhill Hospital for Sick Children in Glasgow and after a course of gruelling treatments including chemotherapy, surgery and IL2 immunotherapy, Mackenzie completed her treatment.

By December 2010 and scans showed no signs of cancer— McKenzie had beaten the disease.

However, less than 2 years after being given the all clear, a routine MRI scan showed that the cancer was back. There can be few things worse for a parent than finding out that your child has any form of cancer. However, in this case the situation is in fact worse because there are no relapse treatment protocols for neuroblastoma available in the UK! That’s right– in the UK if Neuroblastoma returns to an already “cleared” child then there is no fully suitable and approved available treatment!

However, it is not all bad news, because the disease can in fact be treated — in Germany or in the USA — just not in the UK!

The reason for that is because the treatment is expensive, and our Government are simply not prepared to provide such treatment on the NHS and so you have to pay to save your child in another country.

In MacKenzie’s case, her family and the Neuroblastoma Alliance ( working together with other charities ) are attempting to raise the cost of treatment so that she can be treated in Germany. There endeth the good news because the cost for the treatment is– £350,000!

Yes — you read correctly– £350,000!

What is more — it is vital that the money is raised in a hurry because as each day passes and the older MacKenzie gets, the less chance she has of responding to the treatment! Most Neuroblastoma victims are younger than McKenzie!

Now lest you are reading this story and are feeling depressed and downhearted, let me introduce you to two remarkable people:

They are called Vanessa Riddle and Oscar Knox.

Vanessa is Chris Riddle’s daughter and it was his tweet that set me off on this story.

As for Oscar– well all I will say is Google his name and see what comes back at you.

Both Vanessa and Oscar have been in MacKenzie’s shoes and all the signs are that they have beaten Neuroblastoma. In Vanessa’s case, her symptoms and age were very very similar to those of MacKenzie and once again I suggest that you Google her name and see what comes back.

The Neuroblastoma Alliance helps those who suffer from the disease — and their friends and family— to raise funds to help with the life saving treatment, and at the bottom of this wee story I will post the link to MacKenzie’s just giving page.

They are looking to raise that £350,000 and at the moment they have managed about £16,000.

Back in the day when Vanessa was looking for funds, the target was far Higher — she had to raise £500,000, and Oscar I think had to raise £350,000 as well.

Yet both achieved their target, In Vanessa’s case I think it took something like 11 weeks!

In Oscar’s case, people from all over peddled on bikes, did sponsored walks, bring and buy sales, packed shopping bags in supermarkets and so on. The support was unbelievable.

So, I am going to end now and I am going to ask you to do 5 things. If you do any one of these a little girl and her family will be eternally grateful and if you can do all five then the next time you look in the mirror you will see a real superstar — A Stradivarius of a human being!

1. Can you give something or do something to raise money for MacKenzie and her family to help her reach her goal?

A sponsored walk? Shave your legs? A Bingo night or race night? Anything at all.

If you can’t do any of those things then just give something- no matter how little– if possible.

2. Please pass this story on via twitter, facebook, e-mail or any other means of social media or communication.

3. Please write to your MP, MSP, Local Councillor or whoever about the fact that we don’t treat kids with this condition in this country and they are forced to go abroad at great expense— oh and they and their families have to rely on bozo’s like me writing stories and asking for money to save a wee girl’s life.

4. If you believe in the power of prayer– pray!

5. If you have kids of your own, nieces or nephews, God Children, Grand children or whatever– give them a hug because there with the grace of God goes someone like MacKenzie or Vanessa or Oscar.

I do not know MacKenzie and her family — I have never met Vanessa or Oscar either—  and MacKenzie’s family do not know that I am writing this piece about her or them. I am doing so because someone said help and that is the right thing to do and because it is wrong that she cannot receive treatment here by way of the much vaunted NHS system.

As anyone who reads this blog regularly knows, I am a fan and follower of Celtic Football Club. Helping others that you have never met and never will meet is at the core of what the club was founded for and all that the club stands for. Celtic was designed to make a difference!

I also believe that when someone is in trouble he or she should never walk alone.

Oh  and one we girl’s life is worth more than all the instruments ever made by Antonio Stradivari and his family — and there were over 600 in total of them — there is only one MacKenzie and she really does have a unique voice which right now is left with no option but to cry out for our help.

And if you have a spare Stradivarius and want to put it up for auction………..

Lastly — here is some footage of the Little Stradivarius herself. If you watch this, please remember one thing throughout, the little girl you see here, despite all appearances, is so critically ill that unless the disease is stopped she will die. That is a fact.

Yet that need not happen if she can be treated— that is also a fact.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RcDUZjSxRA

Please help!

MacKenzie’s Just giving page

https://www.justgiving.com/Appeal4Mackenzie/

Follow Mackenzie on Twitter

@macstartanarmy

Follow Mackenzie’s dad on twitter

@jasonfurniss1

Mackenzie’s best chance of beating the cancer lies in Germany.

Andy Murray, The Man on the Moon and another Brick in the Wall — PLEASE!

23 Jul

The Dunblane Hydro Hotel stood with its impressive sloping lawns and period façade giving off all the aroma of a great country house perched on top of an imperious bank. As you enter through the gates, the Hotel looks down on you as if to ask “ And what is your business here?” long before you get to the entrance of the building itself.

I had been in the hotel on more than a few occasions, but on the occasion concerned ( I would estimate maybe 1991 or 1992 ) I was no more than a dinner guest having been invited to come “ for my dinner” at the behest of someone who was merely resident for a night or two in the splendid establishment.

The invitation, which was extended to myself and my wife – or should that be to my wife and myself?—had come from her uncle who met us at reception.

An Englishman in his fifties or early sixties, with a balding head, thin and looking as fit as a fiddle he greeted us in his usual warm and friendly fashion resplendent in a pair of khaki coloured slacks, white shirt, red tie and dark blue blazer.

He greeted his niece with a kiss and shook me warmly by the hand

“ How you doing? Hey this is a bit of alright!” he said indicating the impressive hotel “ I feel as if I have to tidy my room and everything – its beautiful—far too good for the likes of me!” he added – in what could only be described as his soft  and so completely natural Geordie accent.

He was staying at the hotel with a colleague, whose name I forget, and who in the course of the evening would join us for dinner and engage in the conversation when our host would pause for breath – although to be fair all four of us were fairly lively in the chatting stakes.

The man extending the dinner invitation to myself and my wife for the evening was called Gerry Mason—although I called him Gerard.

I should add that Gerard was originally a Geordie – coming from the Jesmond Dene area of Newcastle but by this time was living in a house in North Shields heading towards Whitley Bay.

However, once a Geordie always a Geordie and soon enough he started to ask or talk about football, Celtic ( whom he knew I supported ) and all things sports related. This was, as usual, nothing more than an excuse for him to reminisce about great Scottish Newcastle players of the past. Frank Brennan, Bobby Mitchell, Ronnie Simpson and his pal Bob Moncur.

Gerard had been a pupil at St Joseph’s school in Dumfries and knew all about Brother Walfrid and the Celtic story. On leaving school he had qualified as a teacher and his area of expertise was physical education and sports coaching which in turn lead to a working life that was fascinating – involving stints in the Caribbean and elsewhere. That working life is what caused him to be sitting at the dinner table in the Dunblane Hydro Hotel pouring wine and waxing lyrical.

“ So—what are you doing here then Gerard?” I asked.

He pointed to the badge on the breast pocket of his blazer and said “ Coaching for this lot!” with the Geordie accent getting thicker by the minute.

I had noticed the blazer and the pocket which proclaimed that Gerard was there on behalf of the LTA – The Lawn tennis Association!

“ Who are you coaching up here?” I asked pushing further.

“ You won’t believe me when I tell you” he replied “ We ( indicating his colleague ) are coaching blind folk and those who are visually impaired!”

“ Eh – are you telling me that you are trying to coach blind people to play tennis?”

“ Yeah – the blind and others who are not quite blind but have a vision impairment!”

“ Is that not impossible?”

“ Whadya mean impossible?” he replied in that lilting singsong accent. “ They’re blind – or can’t see—They ain’t dead!…. and if they ain’t dead then they can be coached—besides they are mad keen!”

“ No—sorry I am not getting this, how do you teach a blind person to play tennis?”

“Ok” said Gerry “ First of all you modify the equipment, the rules and the court. The balls are adapted to have something inside like a rattle that makes a noise—so you can hear it moving through the air and when it bounces. Second, the racquets are shorter—more or less a grip with just a head and no neck or a very short neck. Next, if you are totally blind then the ball can bounce three times before you have to hit back over the net—if you are partially sighted then you are allowed two bounces, and last ignore the tram lines, more or less play within the service boxes. Beyond that, you teach them to move their feet, hold the racquet head up, swing at the all properly, point the racquet properly at the end of each shot ……………and ignore any disability completely!

They can hear the ball, judge where it is and as a result they adapt and play……. Naturally and on instinct…… and instinct comes with practice!

It is like coaching anyone else really – and I’ll tell you this there are some good players!”

It will come as no surprise that I was gobsmacked! Here was sports coaching at its best—ignore the disability, adapt the game and the equipment and make the seemingly impossible happen.

However, as I was to learn with Gerard Mason, there would often be a sting in the tail – or perhaps a sting in the tale— to one of his diatribes – and sure enough here it came:

“ It is a great innovation, and a really worthwhile exercise seeing the pleasure the players get out of it—but there needs to be more facilities, more classes, more coaches but there is no chance of that!”

“ Why not?”

“ Because of this lot!” he said pointing to the badge in the blazer.

“Sorry?”

“The LTA!” said Gerry “ They are bloody useless!”

“Really?  They must be good at something—they got you here!”

“ Good at something? I’ll tell you what they are good at! Good at making Blazers!.. and that’s about it! Why should they have to get me all the way up here from Tyne and Weir, waste money putting me up in a nice hotel just to coach blind folk to play Tennis in Dunblane? Is there no one who can play tennis and coach it in Scotland? Or did they just not look?”

He went on:

“ The LTA are totally focused on the Home Counties and bugger all else.”

“ Me? I could just as easily be stationed on the moon —– and Scotland? Scotland is about as far away as Neptune and if you are forced to send someone to Neptune then send the nearest guy – basically me—The man on the moon!”

“ So—do you think Tennis is ignored here then?”

“ No—it’s not ignored— it’s just not supported and not encouraged— not in the same way it is down South — they need to change their attitude—and listen to people like me who are perceived as…… well pains in the neck! Even the blind can play on instinct with practice — but practice requires opportunity….. and for the LTA, they focus on providing opportunities elsewhere—- not here!”

“So—what are the chances of Scotland producing a world class Tennis player then?”

“ Absolutely None—Nada—nowt! The only way that will ever happen is if there is a kid out there somewhere with real talent and someone gets him or her early enough and gives them one really good piece of basic coaching advice.”

“ And what would that be Gerard?”

“ Stay as far away as possible from the LTA – bugger off somewhere else with facilities and coaches  and be taught how to play – especially if you don’t have a home counties accent!”.

Little did we know that at very moment, a small boy was in his house only a few hundred yards away— and that the same small boy would reach the summit in terms of not only British but World tennis—- by essentially following the very route outlined by Gerard Mason over his steak and chips.

The Andy Murray story cannot be summed up properly in the course of one article or story—and in truth, Murray owes a debt of gratitude to the failures of the LTA over a period of decades.

It is sometimes very easy to forget that the last British Singles Grand Slam winner before Murray was Virginia Wade in 1977 AND that Sue Barker captured the Ladies French Open title the year before! It is also easy to forget that two Scots ( Winnie Shaw and Joyce Williams ) made it to the quarter finals of the women’s doubles at Wimbledon in 1972 and that Winnie Shaw reached the finals of both the ladies doubles and the mixed doubles, and twice made it to the semi-finals in the French Open. She played twice in the Australian Open semi-finals.

British Tennis should have kicked on from that glorious period— but it didn’t – instead it got stuck in a stupid and totally avoidable rut for a period of years because it did not learn a lesson and did not see what was going on around the rest of the world—perhaps it didn’t want to see!

In the same year that Wee Sue won the French, I watched the men’s singles final at Wimbledon on the television amid the leafy splendour of a village in upstate New York.

At the time, Ardsley had a population of around 2,000 people, and it was there I cheered on Ilie Nastase to no avail against the emergent Swedish sex symbol and superstar Bjorn Borg in what was to be the start of the Bjorg reign of 5 years.

That summer, I joined the open air sports centre ( or center ) in Ardsley for the princely sum of $1. This gained me entry to an outdoor Olympic size swimming pool, Mini league baseball diamond, full size baseball diamond, Basketball courts, parks, lawns, picnic tables, restaurant and bar……. and 21 full size all weather tennis courts!

All for a population of 2,000!

In contrast, I believe that the whole of Scotland boasted just one all weather tennis court at the time…. At Craiglockhart!

Now, if there was anyone who was literally born with a tennis racquet in their hand it would be Tim Henman.

Tim’s mother Jane played Junior Wimbledon and introduced Tim and his elder brothers Michael and Richard to tennis as soon as they could walk on the family’s grass tennis court in their back garden. His great grandfather played at Wimbledon. His maternal grandfather, Henry Billington, played at Wimbledon between 1948 and 1951, and he represented Britain in the Davis Cup in 1948, 1950 and 1951. In 1901 his maternal great-grandmother, Ellen Stanwell-Brown (or Ellen Mary Stowell-Brown), was reputedly the first woman to serve overarm at Wimbledon. His maternal grandmother, Susan Billington, appeared regularly at Wimbledon in the 1950s, playing mixed doubles on Centre Court with her husband Henry, reaching the third round of the ladies’ doubles in 1951, 1955 and 1956.

In short, Tennis was absolutely in Tim Henman’s genes and in his back yard.

Yet despite this, and coming from Oxfordshire ( ripe LTA territory if you like ) Tim would not reach the heights achieved by Murray ( though you have to be some player to get to four Grand Slam Semi’s in the one year ).

However, the Murray story owes something to Tim.

Henman went to the Slater school of Tennis — a group who were financed by the former financier Jim Slater — and who were coached in the Tennis skills along lines that were slightly different to those adopted by the LTA.

In other words— Henman followed the route that was outlined by Gerard Mason over the dinner table — he avoided the LTA. Not only that, among those at the Slater school at the time, Tim was not especially rated with other kids being tipped for far greater success!

However, while others may have had more natural skill than Henman, what they appear not to have had was Tim’s desire to improve and what was to prove to be his greatest asset—his head!

Tim Henman’s own journey is worth a blog in itself, however that is perhaps for another day, his mention here is merely to point out that the most recent British tennis icon BEFORE Murray did not go the LTA route but was part of the Slater squad which was distinctly separate and different.

A couple of years ago, I wrote about Murray and said that from what I had been told he had the head and the game to go to the top notwithstanding Federer, Nadal and Djokovic.

In response, I received a comment from someone who said that they could not care less as Murray was no more than a “poor little rich boy playing an elitist sport!”.

I believe that statement to be both right and wrong.

I do not believe that Andy Murray comes from a rich family. A middle class one perhaps, and even rich in comparison to some others, but not “Rich” in the sense that his family did not have a financial care in the world and could just afford to send him off to Tennis School without a second thought, a sacrifice and some financial assistance.

Nor do I believe that Tennis is an elitist sport.

However, I do believe that the LTA and many others in Britain ( Including Governments and Local Authorities ) inadvertently do their damndest to make the sport elitist—so in that sense the commentator was in fact correct.

Not long after losing to Roger Federer last year or the year before, Andy Murray came to Braehead to play Davis Cup tennis. He was taken aback at the welcome he received and indeed was tearful when he saw the warmth of the reception.

However, what was shocking was that here was one of the world stars of the sport playing in Scotland, and who volunteered to give up his own time to play some exhibition tennis and provide some coaching for local kids…… only to find that there were no public courts!

Hastily, Renfrew district council repaired and restored long abandoned and ignored courts in Paisley—so that the great star of British tennis could be seen to be playing with the kids! Until that moment—the kids who wanted to play tennis could go and raffle themselves—or of course join the David Lloyd Club or pay handsomely to play at another private tennis club!

I have no doubt that Judy Murray was in or about Dunblane Tennis Club when Gerard Mason was coaching the blind. I also have no doubt that she shared Gerard’s then view of the failings of the LTA – although I have no idea whether she actually spoke to “ The man on the moon” personally.

However, within a few years of that Dinner in Dunblane a young 18 year old man called Leon Smith began coaching at club level and within two years he became the national performance officer for Tennis Scotland.

Smith would go on to coach a young Murray and the two have stayed in touch ever since – with Smith filling the coaching void not that long ago when Andy Murray was between coaches. Since those early days, as Murray’s star has risen so has Smith’s becoming the LTA’s national under-16s men’s coach in 2005 and the under-18s coach in 2008. He was later appointed Head of Player Development in Men’s Tennis, and promoted to Head of Men’s Tennis simultaneously to his appointment as Davis Cup captain. In 2011 he became Head of Women’s Tennis in addition to his existing responsibilities.

Gerard Mason is sadly no longer with us, but he would be astonished by the fact that a Glaswegian now holds such sway within the organisation he branded best at making blazers!

That is real progress!

However, there is a long way to go yet, because despite the best efforts of Tennis Scotland, Leon Smith, Andy Murray, Judy Murray and oh so many more, Tennis is still too “elitist” in the sense that not enough people can easily get to play the game because it is “club “ based and therefore can cost money!

Now, there are public courts ( Those at Kelvingrove in Glasgow are being restored ) but there are not nearly enough—and nowehere near enough thought is given to the provision of “facilities”.

At its very basic level Tennis requires one racquet – or bat– and a ball — unlike golf with its numerous clubs. It also requires space – and again I stress a far smaller space than either a football pitch or a golf course!

So let me go back to the summer of 1976 and my trip to Ardsley because there in the sports centre I was shown a unique piece of equipment that was available to all which I have not mentioned yet and which should be made readily available just about anywhere in Scotland— yet isn’t!

As I drive about the land and see money being spent on new schools which come with astroturf pitches, all weather surfaces and all sorts of other facilities, I am constantly amazed at the repeated absence of this one piece of equipment amidst all this expenditure. I have been to new schools and seen climbing walls, theatres, swimming pools, gymnasiums and all sorts of clever things designed by architects and whoever……….. but nowhere do I see this most ingenious piece of basic equipment.

In the Ardsley sports centre, as well as the full sized Tennis Courts, Baseball Diamonds, Basketball courts, swimming pools and so on there were eight or twelve other courts.

These were the most popular and were nearly always in use.

They were bounded by fences just like the Tennis Courts and inside the fencing there were the tram lines and service boxes of a Tennis Court – except that where the net should have been there was a 15 foot high plain flat wall – with a true surface!

Painted on the wall, at precisely the height of a Tennis net, was a straight red line showing where the net should be. I should also add that the wall was also painted with white lines showing the dimensions of a soccer goal,  and Multi coloured targets at different heights!

Whenever I went to the centre—no matter what time— there would be kids and adults, hitting balls off the wall with racquets, or with their hands and feet.

Kids were being coached in swinging a racquet, striking the ball truly and receiving it back from the wall to strike again—- time after time after time. Many others were not being coached at all—they were just kids hitting a ball off the wall with effectively a “bat” – it didn’t cost anything, and they just got better and better and better. The more the wall delivered the ball back, the better they became at moving their feet, swinging the racquet and striking the ball.

Whatsmore—they all seemed to be having a good time!

Strange that!

I saw coaching sessions in those cages – boys and girls kicking a soccer ball repeatedly off the wall ( anyone who knows the story of Bobby Charlton at Manchester United will know he was told to go away and strike the ball of a wall time after time—left foot – right foot ) both shooting and passing –              ( remind me again why it is called a wall pass ).

Kids with basket balls were being trained to run, dribble, hit a target on the wall, let it bounce back to them, collect the ball and run on to the next target.

In short, in 1976 local authorities in the USA saw the need to provide sports facilities that allowed kids to develop eye, hand, foot, ball co-ordination skills both under a coaching system and in their private time—by hitting balls off a wall.

So—on the back of Wimbledon success—Andy Murray calls for Tennis to be made more available to a far wider group of folk!

Do you think he means that private tennis clubs should lower their prices or that David Lloyd and First Generation clubs should make less of a profit?

I doubt it.

And of course Mr Cameron and Mr Salmond ( neither of whom contributed a brass farthing towards Murray’s development – but who still manage to get Centre Court tickets on men’s final day ) immediately respond by getting on their soap boxes and pledging sums of money (which they didn’t have the week before) to promote tennis – with no thought as to how and where it should be spent for the benefit of the public!

To be the very best, Andy Murray had to go abroad to receive the type of coaching which was just not available in Britain and even the employment of Ivan Lendl shows that at each stage of his career he needed to access expertise which was just not available to him here in Britain.

However, to be healthy, fit, and able to play tennis needs nothing more than a bat and a ball, some public courts and a set of walls to hit a ball off time and time again – then you can progress to courts and coaching.

Give a kid a bat, a ball and a wall — stand back and leave those kids alone— and watch what happens! Even blind kids can play with modified equipment……… If they ain’t dead they can be coached!!!!

Murray’s achievement is truly astonishing…… it is one of the all time great sports stories.

I believe he can and will go on to achieve more success.

However, his great wish is for more people to be able to play tennis here in Scotland and providing basic facilities in schools where kids can practice is not difficult or costly – all you have to do is put the building blocks in place.

It is not nearly as difficult as putting a man on the moon.

A Bat,  a ball and a good old fashioned Scottish Wall.

Johnny Rocks and the 107: An Apocryphal Tale — A guest post by The Battered Bunnet.

19 Jul

Johnny Rocks and the 107: An Apocryphal Tale

by The Battered Bunnet

The 5 door Peugeot 107 “small city car” is one of identical triplets, born of the B-Zero collaboration between Peugeot-Citroen and Toyota, each parent taking one of the newborns and giving it the family name. Thus the Toyota Aygo and the Citroen C1 are the siblings of the 107, separated at birth at the purpose built TPCA car plant in Kolin, Czech Republic, each differently labelled but carrying the same genes.

Like its siblings, the 107 comes with Toyota’s 1KR-FE engine as standard, a straight 3 cylinder, 996cc unit delivering 68 horse power at 6000 revs, and 70 lb.ft of torque at 3600 revs. With such a little motor, fuel economy is optimised, with a claimed 65.69mpg combined cycle, meaning the cautious driver might eke out 500 odd miles from a single fill of its tiny 35 litre fuel tank.

Numbers aside, the 107’s engine is to performance motoring what Joe Dolce was to pop culture. In a non-empirical test carried out in this household recently, the 107 was unable to pull a Welly boot out of the mud. The standard gearbox is a 5 speed manual, where one needs to thrash the engine in 1st gear to make the change up to 2nd without going backwards. 3rd gear is strictly for going downhill, while 4th is for stalling. The 5th gear is essentially no more than a decorative accessory.

While the Aygo is finished to a higher standard, and the C1 is the cheapest of the three in the showroom, Peugeot dealers are better provided with support from head office, and therefore tend to be more willing to cut prices to shift cars. Accordingly, the 107 is the most popular of the 3 amongst fleet managers and retirees alike, with over 100,000 units sold each year since launch in 2005.

Gwanni ‘Johnny Rocks’ Scirocca, from a young age known affectionately to family as “ta’ Xewwiex” – The Troublemaker – is something of an entrepreneurial legend on the island of Malta. As with all legends, what is known of Johnny Rocks is somewhat shrouded, but it is known that he grew up in the Paola district of Valetta in the 60s, learning the tourism trade at his father’s kerbside café in the docks area, and earning pennies and the odd shilling from table tips.

Hustling tourists from the cruise ships that docked in Valetta harbour, the seven year old ta’ Xewwiex first made trouble selling bottles of Coca Cola to parched tourists around the Barrakka Gardens. While few customers complained about paying a shilling for a cold Coke, the ruse was rumbled when he was caught knocking stock off the back of a delivery truck. Another scam involved selling ‘lottery’ tickets, the winner getting dinner for 4 at his father’s place, rumbled when someone bought every ticket and actually turned up at the dive to claim the prize. More Trouble.

Of course the café couldn’t contain young Johnny Rocks’ enterprising nature for long, and at 16 he launched his first business, a mini-cruise wheeze that offered tourists (for 10 shillings) the unique chance to view the historic city of Valetta and Fort Saint Elmo from the water. Being 16 of course, he was not permitted to obtain the necessary Boat Master’s licence, and matters ended somewhat dramatically when the “Scirocca Breeze” – a patched up 18 foot traditional wooden Kajjik powered by a clapped out 3 horsepower Evinrude 2 stroke outboard – was caught in the wake of the harbour dredger, necessitating a Coast Guard emergency rescue for the 11 paying passengers dumped into the water. The whereabouts and identity of the pilot was never formally established, although the boat was traced to a salvage yard in Mgarr, a breaker that had been bought for 30 shillings cash by “a young man from Valetta” earlier in the season.

And so the legend of Johnny Rocks was born. Did Johnny Rocks go down with his boat? Was he drowned? Certainly no body was ever retrieved from the harbour water, and no funeral service was ever held. Business at the Scirocca café continued as usual, although conspicuously without the help of ta’ Xewwiex.

From that point, Johnny Rocks’ career developed in tandem with the growth of Malta as a tourism destination in the 80s, a series of pubs, clubs and restaurants opening and closing in quick succession, leaving behind a string of bemused creditors, frustrated landlords and bewildered city officials. While it was widely believed that Johnny Rocks ran the operation, his name appeared on no official register. Indeed, there was no trace of Gwanni Scirocca in the public records since his leaving school at age 15. He was invisible. He had, in effect, disappeared the afternoon the Scirocca Breeze capsized.

In the early days, Johnny Rocks was able to use his contacts at Farsons Brewery in Mriehel to obtain back door supplies in return for cash and assorted favours, but as the business grew, the stock losses at the brewery became impossible to hide, resulting in 2 warehousemen spending some time in Corradino Correctional Facility, coincidentally just round the corner from the Scirocca family home in Paola.

With perhaps a dozen pubs and clubs in his growing chain, and back door supplies cut off for the time being, Johnny Rocks became a leading exponent of “closed chain” trading, buying supplies on credit through one of his ‘wholesale outlets’ and reselling on open credit at eye-watering margins to each of his myriad retail outlets in turn. Each outlet thus ran at a loss on paper, but cash poured in through the tills, and was banked in Pozzallo, Sicily, each week, a mere 75 minutes away by speed boat, but safely out of the reach of the Maltese tax authorities. As the credit line ran out, the wholesaler would file for insolvency, and the operation continued in turn through another wholesale front, primed with a good trading record for the purpose. The introduction of VAT in Malta in 1995 provided a handy 15% leverage on trade.

Matters became interesting in 1998 when Frederick Nielsen, a bank clerk in Ballerup, Denmark, disputed the validity of a 83,000 Lira back-dated VAT demand received in the post from the Maltese VAT Department. Nielsen claimed (correctly) that he was not and never had been the owner of the Mardi Gras nightclub in St Julians, and indeed, had only ever set foot in Malta during a 2 week holiday in 1995.

Investigations into one insolvent wholesaler by the office of the Director General and Commissioner of VAT found that the licensee for each debtor pub and restaurant was a foreigner, a different person for each shop, none of whom were resident on the island bar a short vacation around the time of the licence application, during which a passport was lost. Jennifer Woods from Leicester; Wilhelm Koller from Zurich; Rune Lien from Oslo and so many others, each the unwitting licensee of a pub or club in Malta, connected only insofar as at one time or another, they had each stayed at the Blue Horizon hotel in Sliema, and there lost their passport.

By the turn of the millennium Johnny Rocks was in his forties and in his prime. Pubs, clubs, restaurants, taxis, properties; business was booming. He knew the tourism market, and he understood human nature. Wherever there were tourists in Malta there was a Johnny Rocks enterprise helping them spend their money, but there was one itch Johnny Rocks had never scratched, one that he had quietly dreamed of for many years, in his view the height of tourism enterprise: Car Hire.

The car hire business is a tough racket, with huge depreciation and slim margins in a heavily price sensitive market. The key in the standard car hire business model is vehicle utilisation: A car doesn’t earn any income sitting depreciating on the car lot, and thus competition between the major rental brands is fierce. The big rental companies fight for discounts from the manufacturers, they fight for prominence in the airport arrivals hall, for ranking on Google, and for customer loyalty. Price-critical and capital-intensive, you need deep pockets and a sharp mind to compete.

Johnny Rocks knew that in order to crack the market he needed to find something new, something different, something the big guys couldn’t touch. He found it by reverse engineering human nature and came up with the notion of Disloyalty. Johnny Rocks knew that, for a local car hire firm, tourists were a strictly buy-once market. There is no prospect for repeat business and therefore no penalty for customer disservice. While Avis, Enterprise, Hertz and the rest need to maintain a consistent level of service to match customer expectation the world over, the local firm needs just one hire per customer, and beyond a friendly smile, screw the added value. For the local guy, it’s all about price, and moreover, about margin – the difference between the depreciation of the vehicle and the revenue it generates.

Johnny Rocks realised that he need two key things for his car hire business to succeed: The best Price to get the hires in the first place; and the best Margins to profit from. His genius was in figuring that one out, and in 2006 Johnny Rocks launched the Goldstar Cars business.

It is well known that Michael O’Leary first discovered the low cost airline business model at Southwest Airlines in the USA in the 1990s, but he got the polish for his brass neck only after hiring a car from the Goldstar Cars’ desk in Luqa airport in 2007. O’Leary’s business approach involves a relentless pursuit of cost cutting, and it was only natural that, when visiting Malta on a business trip, his PA would book a car with the cheapest rental outfit she could find on the internet: Goldstar Cars.

Initially, O’Leary couldn’t understand how a small, local outfit could offer a 7 day rental for less than €10 per day. The depreciation alone on a typical hatchback is more than that after all. He didn’t take long to figure it out, and what Michael O’Leary learned from Goldstar Cars made Ryanair the most profitable airline in the world.

And so, here I sit in Marsalforn, supping a cold Cisk lager in the shade under the awning of a Gozitan bar, a Johnny Rocks bar perhaps, the vivid colours of the moored Kajjiks reflected in the clear waters of small harbour in front of me. The light breeze is welcome as I type out this little story while my rented Peugeot 107 sits across the road, heating inexorably towards fusion ignition temperature as the southern Med sun beats down on its black paintwork, its black dashboard, its black upholstery. Why black? Who would buy a black car in Malta where the sun shines for more than 300 days per year, and the average summer daytime temperature is 87 degrees? Moreover, who in Malta, in their right mind, would buy just such a black car with no air conditioning? Why, Johnny Rocks of course!

It transpires that in February the Czechs at Kolin inadvertently shipped a consignment of 100 black, no frills, base model Peugeot 107s to Malta. Being right hand drive, the only other markets in Europe for such a car are the UK and Ireland, their original intended destination, the cost to reship being huge. Johnny Rocks caught wind of the Peugeot flotsam, made an offer, and took the entire consignment. If you see a black Peugeot 107 in Malta this summer, odds on it’s a Goldstar 107.

By bidding a fraction above the competition for ranking order on the internet price comparison sites, and undercutting the prices of the Luqa Airport based multi-nationals, Goldstar Cars is able to place every vehicle for hire virtually every week to cost conscious tourists like me. Who can resist a 5 door hatchback for €140 for a fortnight when the best of the rest is €220? Valetta is a small city, what better than the 107, a small city car after all, to scoot about in?

Of course, as I found out when I collected the car, €140 euros is just the cost of the car hire…

“Insurance Sir, which option would you prefer? The basic CDW option included in your reservation, or the full cover?”

“I’ll go for the basic option please.”

“Very well Sir. I’ll need a deposit of one thousand euros, which we’ll re-credit to your account within 3 weeks of you returning the car undamaged.”

“eh..uh… WHIT?”

“Yes sir, a €1000 deposit to cover any damage you might cause to the car.”

“€1000? Three weeks?”

“Yes Sir. €1000. We promise to refund your deposit within 3 weeks of you returning the car, provided there is no damage.”

“And what constitutes damage?”

“It covers pretty much everything Sir, from collisions to small dents and scratches. We give you the car in perfect condition, and you just return it to us the same way. Otherwise, we use the deposit to repair the car.”

“To hell with that! I’ll take the full cover.”

“Very well Sir, that’ll be an additional twelve euros. Per day. So that’s an extra €168 altogether, plus the small €150 deposit. And of course, the car comes with a full tank of fuel. Just bring it back empty.”

“Not full to full? I always do full to full. Everyone does full to full.”

“No Sir, we only do full to empty. Just bring it back empty. So that’s €140 for the car hire, €168 for the full insurance cover, €150 deposit, and €75 for the fuel. Total €533. Your card please Sir.”

“€75 for the fuel? SEVENTY FIVE EUROS! FOR THE FUEL! The bloody car only has a 35 litre fuel tank. That’s… that’s… that’s more than €2 per litre!” [further quotes redacted to avoid causing the reader offence]

 

Post Script

Unleaded fuel in Malta is around €1.45 per litre this week. The 35 litres in my hired Peugeot 107 was sold to me at €2.14 per litre, almost 50% mark up on the forecourt price.

Moreover, the small island of Malta has just 140 miles of coastline. Given the efficiency of the Toyota 1KR-FE engine, it seems possible to circumnavigate the island 3.57 times in a Peugeot 107 on a single tank of fuel. I’m trying it. Any fuel remaining in the car will be resold to the next hire, as the last hire’s doubtless was to me. If there’s a quarter tank left, Goldstar Cars make another €20 on the deal and clever Johnny Rocks has just doubled his margin on fuel sales. That car’s not going back with anything more than the smell of petrol in the tank.

At least I have full insurance, and perhaps, unwittingly of course, I have been a little less careful a driver than usual. I must confess that in the past week or so I’ve grounded the car 3 times going too fast on Malta’s quaint, unsurfaced back roads, kerbed it twice, been rather clumsy with the supermarket trolley, and used the bumpers to pretty good effect while parking in Malta’s congested town centres.

The poor clutch has been thrashed on the tight hill climbs up to Bingemma and Had-Dingli, the engine hammered relentlessly, the gears crunched up and down and the front tyres spun to the smoke point on the hot, slick tarmac.

To be fair, the wee car has held up pretty well, but I’m not finished yet. I’m damned if I’m going to let Johnny Rocks resell what remains in the fuel tank to the next schmuck who books a Goldstar deal online, fuel I paid Goldstar 50% over the odds for in the first place. My final stop then, before returning the car to the airport, will be to the Scirocca & Sons Home and Garden Emporium in Hal Qormi, from where I will purchase a siphon.

Roond ye, Johnny Rocks. Right roond ye.

 

Author’s Notes:

This story is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons, living, dead or legendary is entirely coincidental.

The People of Malta may be unfairly maligned by this tale. To be perfectly clear, in my experience they are warm in their welcome and generous in their hospitality. Perfect hosts.

The Tale of the Little Giant.

6 Jul

                                                    THE LITTLE GIANT

 

Ted Cripps was a butcher. He was a good man, a loving father and he was hell bent on buying a present for his daughter, Sally. She wanted a pony—and if a pony Sally wanted, then a Pony Sally would get.

Ted contacted a Sussex horse dealer called Tommy Grantham and arranged to come and see him with a view to assessing whether Tommy had a pony at the right price. As luck would have it, Tommy had just imported a job lot of livestock from Ireland and sure enough among more the impressive equines transported across the Irish Sea was a Bay pony — just perfect for a wee girl.

Whatsmore, the little pony was a crossbreed – coming from a cross of a thoroughbred horse and Connemara Pony—and as such he would not be too expensive with a pedigree like that. He had been gelded, was small and so was just right for Sally.

Ted and Tommy shook hands and struck a deal.

When Sally saw her Pony, she was delighted.

However, the problem with little girls is that they grow up, and over time, Sally outgrew her pony and the decision was taken to sell the little horse who was by now 8 years old.

In the interim Sally had entered some junior jumping competitions with the pony and had done quite well. The Pony was a good little jumper and Ted was confident of selling him on to a good family.

Eventually a buyer was found — a Mr Coakes who was a farmer from Hampshire.

He too had a daughter (Marion) who was learning to ride just like her older brothers both of whom very good horsemen, and so he was now in the market for a small pony for his little girl.

Mr Coakes bought the little pony from Ted and off he went with a new pony in the family and a delighted Marion.

Ralph Coakes had taught his sons, John and Douglas, to ride brilliantly—so much so that they both made the British Junior Show jumping team. He hoped that he could also teach his daughter Marion to ride just as well, and he saw the little pony as being a significant step in that direction.

Sure enough, Marion turned out to be a superb naturally gifted horsewoman and soon mastered the pony well, achieving very good results when she jumped the pony in competition.

However, just as Sally had outgrown the child’s pony, so did Marion and the time came for Ralph to broach the notion that the little pony should be sold once again and that Marion should move on to a fully sized horse for future events – especially if she wanted to take show jumping seriously.

Except there was a problem with Ralph’s plan – and that problem was Marion!

By this time she had become very fond of the little pony. She believed that there was something special about the little horse and made it plain that she did not want him sold at all. Even when well-known horsey types came to look the pony over with a view to buying, Marion insisted that any sale was completely against her wishes.

Eventually, Ralph Coakes, being a dad first and foremost, relented and allowed his daughter to keep her pony against his better judgement………….. And the rest as they say is………………. history!

I remember growing up in the West End of Glasgow in a tenement. We lived on the top floor in a big flat on Hyndland Road which I can still see in my mind’s eye to this day.

It is funny how things stick in a child’s mind…… with the inevitability that the child becomes an adult and the same things are lodged in that same mind over 40 or so years later.

I remember when we got our first television…. A Granada TV set with a circular knob which you turned to change the channel…… of which there were only two.

You turned the dial to number 3 for BBC1 and to 21 for ITV…… that was it!

Then I remember when that set was replaced by the first colour set—again a Granada—-and by this time the circular dial was gone. Instead it was replaced by four push in buttons for BBC1, BBC2 and ITV1 with a fourth button nominally for ITV2 which of course did not exist.

The first colour set arrived in our house in the first week of March 1971 – I know this because it was bought just in time for the fight of the century between the reigning heavyweight champion of the world ( Joe Frazier ) and the self-styled “Undisputed, undefeated, Greatest heavyweight boxer of ALL time” the irrepressible Mohamed Ali!

By 1971, I was hooked on sport on the TV.

I watched the European Cup Final of 1967 on the old black and white TV as I did the fabulous World Cup of 1970 from Mexico. The same year I watched avidly as John Newcombe won the men’s singles at Wimbledon, while Margaret Court lifted the women’s crown. The following year I watched as a funny looking wee Mexican American lifted the Claret Jug at the British Open.

By 1970, if there was sport on the TV I was there for my ringside seat so to speak no matter what the sport.

A big factor in leading me to this state of sporting addiction was the 1968 Olympic Games from Mexico City, full of Dick Fosbury and his famous flop over the high jump and the black sprinters from the USA with their black power salutes and all that kind of thing.

We in Britain had seen nothing like it.

We liked our sport very reserved— all boat race, and strawberries at Wimbledon with Dan Maskell saying things like “Oh I say!” and everyone thought that was just fine. It was the way it was……. Especially on the BBC.

Maskell was THE voice of tennis. Kenneth Wolstenhome the voice of football, Harry Carpenter the voice of boxing, and Henry Longhurst was the voice of golf.

There was one other “voice” who always commentated on his chosen sport and he was Raymond Brooks Ward and the sport was Show Jumping.

Living in a flat in Glasgow I knew more about lunar research and the lost tribes of the Incas than I did about horses – whether that was racing them, jumping them or getting them to pull a horse and cart.

However, I did know that show jumping was on the telly fairly often and had a few characters like Harvey Smith who made an otherwise boring sport bearable.

However, the only time I can ever really remember getting in any way excited about show jumping was when the crowd at the Empire Pool Wembley, or Hickstead or wherever would go berserk and Raymond Brooks Ward would announce “ That cheer tells you that here comes Marion Coakes——- and Stroller!”

Yes here was the farmer’s daughter and her child’s pony taking on big Harvey, David Broom and all the other big guns of the show jumping world …….. and as often as not the wee pony beat them out of sight despite being dwarfed by far bigger horses…… or should I say proper horses!

Whatever chemistry or magic there was between young Marion and her Bay pony, she somehow managed to get the 14.1 hands high Stroller up and over the hugest of fences and round the course better than anyone else who just happened to be  seated on a pure thoroughbred standing 16 hands or more .

From the time that Ralph Coakes said that the pony should be sold so that Marion could progress to seniors’ show jumping from junior show jumping, Marion insisted that she could beat all comers on the little pony.

There are photos of her sitting on Stroller and it is clear that other big thoroughbreds of the day stood a full head and neck above her little pony who she believed could get over the same big fences as these giants. And somehow or other, the little crossbreed would indeed get over the fences and outdo them all.

The diminutive Stroller and Marion won the Hickstead Derby Trial in 1964, and nearly captured the Derby itself, finishing second to the great Seamus Hayes and his great horse Goodbye.

For those not familiar with the significance of Hickstead in show jumping terms, it is undoubtedly the most famous and demanding show jumping course and event in the world. It includes a big tiring course which incorporates a front on exit down the famous Derby Bank — an incredibly steep bank down which the horses must negotiate by a mixture of running and jumping. Very many of the world’s greatest show jumpers literally fell down the bank, especially when the conditions were wet and slippery.

To win at Hickstead you didn’t just have to be good—- you had to be brilliant!

Unbelievably, when she was just 18 in 1965, Marion Coakes rode Stroller to triumph in the ladies’ World Championship at Hickstead. They beat formidable and experienced opposition in a gruelling three-day contest with the equine world looking on in sheer and utter bewilderment. A girl on a pony winning at Hickstead? It just was not possible.

That same year, Marion and Stroller captured the Queen Elizabeth Cup at the Royal International Horse Show. Again, this was a jaw dropping achievement in this particular world.

It became a show jumping sensation that a child’s bay pony was soaring over big spreads, parallels, banks and ditches better than most of the world’s great horses. Such feats were declared a phenomenon— completely inexplicable.

Most show jumping horses are tall— over 16 hands high (64 inches in height ) whereas Stroller was only 14.1 hands high (57 inches in height)—and are expected to clear level 9 international fences namely fences 4′9″ to 5′0″ in height and 5′0″ to 5′6″ in spread, triple bars to 6′0″,  and water to 13′. For a pony to clear such heights was unheard of — ponies were for junior shows— not this kind of stuff at all!

However, if the show jumping world thought that the little pony was going to stop when pitted against the very best horses ridden by top female pilots then they were in for a shock.

In show jumping terms a Puissance competition is almost the equivalent of the equestrian high jump. The competition involves a maximum of five rounds – an opening round followed by four jump-offs, not against the clock. The first round consists of four to six large single obstacles including the puissance wall, the starting height of which may vary from 1.70 to 1.80 m (5 ft 7 in to 5 ft 11 in) in height. For the jump-offs, in which the fences are raised for each round, there are only two obstacles—a spread fence and the wall—although an optional practice fence is included. In the event of equality after the fifth round, the riders share first prize.

The puissance wall has often become taller than 2 metres (6 ft 7 in).

In 1967 Marion Coakes chose to enter the tiny Stroller in the Puissance competition at an International show being held in Antwerp, Belgium. The little horse cleared all the big fences in the preliminary round and so the course builders started to build up the two fences for the next round. Yet again the little Pony soared over the obstacles—- while many other well-known qualifiers ridden by the best male jumpers in the world fell by the wayside.

By the fourth round, the Puissance wall had been raised to 6ft 8 inches and the remaining competitors were Alwin Schockemöhle on Athlet, a great puissance specialist, and Marion Coakes on the diminutive pony.

Schockemöhle cleared the wall at 6ft 8in, showing why he and his horse were specialists at this event. However, to the amazement of all, the teenage girl also steered her little horse over the huge wall and with one round to go she was still in the competition.

For the final round, the organisers decided to raise the height of the wall to 6ft 10 inches and at that height not even the great German could get his specialist horse over without dislodging the top layer of bricks. That wall towered over Stroller’s head. When Marion Coakes and her little pony strode forward to jump they nearly made it — but by the time the little horse had landed on the other side one solitary brick had become dislodged.

Notwithstanding that failure, the unthinkable had happened — a child’s pony had just won an International Puissance event sharing the first prize with a horse which was regarded as amongst the best in the world at this event.

This was nothing short of a miracle!

However, the Stroller story was only just beginning and such was the incredulity at the little horse’s feats that the TV had to be on hand to capture what could barely be described.

At the 1967 Hickstead Derby the teenage girl from Hampshire and the tiny pony took on all comers—male and female—from all around the world—- and WON!

Stroller was the only entrant in the finals out of 44 international starters to achieve a clear round, keeping his feet in a stumble and slither down the big Bank.

Marion would later recall: “When we sailed over the last fence, having completed the only clear round of the day, the crowd of 25,000 went crazy. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. We had completed the 50th clear round ever achieved on the Hickstead course — and it was the first ever by a woman rider.”

Not only that, it was the first ever clear round by a rider on what was officially classed as a pony as opposed to a horse! A feat that has never been repeated by any other pony to this day.

Stroller’s greatest triumph, and near tragedy, was in the 1968 Mexico Olympics. The idea of picking a girl on a pony for the Olympics was sort of crazy but the little pony could simply not be ignored and so Marion and the pony she had refused to sell found themselves on the way to Mexico.

This was way beyond the dreams and aspirations of Ralph Coakes who thought that he had merely bought his daughter a training pony several years before.

In Mexico there were altitude problems, but Stroller was also suffering a decayed and split upper tooth. It was decided to give him painkillers and steam inhalations rather than risk an extraction just before the contest.

Despite this, Stroller bravely jumped clear in the first round of the individual contest, and picked up eight faults in the second round over a huge course. America’s Bill Steinkraus and Snowbound took the gold medal with four faults, but no one else in the field could better Stroller’s round and so Marion and her pony had won the silver medal.

Marion and the little horse were now national heroes.

The partnership of Marion and Stroller would win the Wills Hickstead Gold Medal, for points gained in major show jumping events during the course of the show jumping year, for five consecutive years from 1965 to 1970, and in all the pair would win 61 International show jumping events. 

However, for me and other members of my family ( and no doubt millions of others ) who had absolutely no interest in show jumping whatsoever it wasn’t just the winning record of the little pony and its rider that was captivating—it was the way it was done.

Three things have to be noted.

The first is that being smaller than all the other horses in the field, the wee pony had to take more strides between the fences and when he jumped, he had a habit of flicking his tail up in the air and tucking his hind legs up close to his rump to ensure that he could clear the big spreads.

Second is that whatever Stroller lacked in height and stature, the Pony made up for in sheer confidence heart and unbridled bravery. It appeared that there was no fence of any height or description which the wee pony would not try to jump! In all competitions over a prolonged period, he only ever refused to jump a fence once – and that was in the team competition at the Olympics when he was clearly under the weather because of the damaged tooth. Stroller was as brave as could be and seemed to launch himself at and over any obstacle no matter how high it appeared.

However, the most important and exciting thing to see would be when Stroller would be in a final jump off against the bigger horses which was to be conducted against the clock.

In many cases Raymond Brooks Ward would describe the jump off courses being assembled with huge spreads, and high double and triple sets of bars to negotiate.

Clearly these should have been easier to negotiate for the bigger horses and their riders, and with their longer strides it could be argued that negotiating round a big big course would take less effort for these big guys. However against the clock – such courses were right up Stroller’s street!

Picture a big horse getting up speed to jump a big set of bars. It speeds up, approaches, jumps, lands and its momentum takes it forward by quite a few steps before the rider can start to turn towards the next jump. All of that took time— and in a jump off against the clock you didn’t have the luxury of time if you wanted to win.

However, Marion Coakes ( later to become Marion Mould ) was an expert horsewoman and as often as not she knew that her pony could go faster round such a course than any of these big guys with their expert riders.

So there I would be, maybe with my Irish Grandad, watching a sport I had no real interest in just to see if this girl come woman could beat the Harvey Smiths, David Brooms and the Schockemöhle’s of this world on their great big horses at the Horse of the year show on BBC1.

I remember quite clearly shouting “ Go On” at the telly as she would begin the timed jump off and start round the course.

Stroller was a wee Jimmy Johnstone of a horse who could twist and turn in an instant! Not for him the notion of landing and taking a few strides before turning—Oh No! Somehow the wee pony would take off round the course at speed and as he jumped Marion would steer him in such a way that he was already turning as he landed.

Tight, tight turns and cutting impossible corners – often jumping the fences at odd almost diagonal angles and immediately turning on a sixpence meant that the wee horse flew round the arena making the big horses look like lumbering Clydesdales. Such competitions always brought a few moments of amazing excitement as you waited to see if the wee pony could go clear and get round faster than the big guys!

And very often they did just that— with the crowd in the arena and in front of the telly going berserk!

In this way, Marion Mould – the once teenage Marion Coakes — and Stroller —her training pony —–defied belief.

In 1968 she had almost repeated her triumph at Hickstead when she came second and in 1970 she would be third. For a number of years the wee pony would be the most consistent international jumper in the world.

In 1970, when he had reached the grand age of twenty years old, Stroller won the title of leading jumper at the horse of the year show and more importantly won the prestigious Hamburg Derby……. Arguably the second most prestigious and difficult event after Hickstead.

In 1971 the little horse won the British Show jumping Derby at Hickstead before eventually retiring.

Show jumping had changed in the course of the Stroller story. Many of the horses were sponsored and now bore names which contained the names of the sponsor as a prefix. So you had Horses called “Sony this” and “Sanyo that” and so on.

However, Marion insisted throughout that Stroller was simply Stroller and would always remain so.

In due course Marion Mould would find another horse, and would win The Queen Elizabeth Cup again on her mount Elizabeth Anne.

However, Elizabeth Anne was a proper horse and neither Marion nor anyone else could ever find another pony or another Stroller. Not only that, it was evident from early on the little pony would only jump as it could if piloted by Marion.

Eventually, she went on to write a book and called it “ Stroller and me” – the very title telling you who she saw as the most important member of the partnership!

Any interest I ever had in show jumping waned after Stroller’s retirement. As I say I know nothing of horses and other than the odd pony trek in my youth I have never ridden at all.

However, for a period in the late sixties and the early seventies I followed this most alien of sports simply because I was watching what seemed to be the impossible, the unbelievable sight of a girl on a wee pony take on the best in the world and win.

My old granddad would stare at the telly and shout “ Jeez The wee horse is over—the wee horse is over” and neither of us could scarcely believe it!

Coverage of sport on TV is very different today and I regret that.

Gone are the days when some sport or other — football aside— would be the main family offering on the BBC of an evening. Whether it used to be Athletics, or Show Jumping, Speedway or whatever, there used to be a sense of awe about watching sportsmen and women achieve their goals and seemingly perform out of their skin.

The Story of the teenage girl and her pony was straight out of a magic book, as if they had been sprinkled with fairy dust or something.

I always thought of them as the underdog, the wee guys, with all the odds stacked against them when competing against these far bigger horses. Maybe that is why the story of Stroller the pony has always stayed with me.

Stroller lived till he was 36 years old eventually dying of a heart attack.

The little cross breed pony was buried somewhere at Barton-on-Sea Golf Club, New Milton, Hampshire, England —-which is perhaps a strange place to bury a show jumping pony.

I don’t know what persuaded Ralph Coakes to allow his daughter to keep a  small pony instead of moving her on to a full size horse, and I don’t know how that Daughter was able to get the little horse to achieve what seemed like physically impossible in a show jumping ring.

All I do know, is that great sporting stories start with a child’s dream and just sometimes those dreams come true for the very few.

And sometimes – just sometimes—the world comes across a little sporting Giant who brings a thrill that can still be remembered over 40 years later!

 

Stroller – The Little Giant.

Ordinary Miracles

This blog is my story about a life forever changed by chronic illness. I hope you'll laugh and cry with me as I try to make sense of it all. Oh, and nothing I say should ever be construed as offering medical or legal advice.

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