On Robert Burns……….

I was asked recently to propose a toast to Robert Burns. The occasion was no more than some local friends getting together for some Haggis Neeps and Tatties, a few drinks and an excuse to sing… and have a few drinks… recite some poetry and… have a few drinks.

There was nothing formal– no black ties— no celebs or anything like that— just a few good local drunks!

I thought about what to say?

How I had come to like Burns perhaps?

How I had left school with the view that Burns was not for me and that he was an “establishment” figure, sitting on a shortbread tin and was followed by “guid scots”— amongst whose ranks I did not include myself.

Perhaps I could list some of the endless strange things I knew about Burns and Burns suppers?

How such suppers had spread after 1801.

How Wordsworth had come to visit Burns’ grave in the early 19th century and warned the Burns family that his memory was about to be distorted and his life story altered to suit the views of politicians and the English establishment?

How Burns’ official Biography was inaccurate in many ways and how the Burns family had tried (in vain) to have it corrected.

How certain members of the Burns family had been paid much needed money not to criticise or contradict the biography– which ran to nine editions and was reprinted ad nauseam so perpetuating many falsehoods about the man.

How Burns father was originally from the North of Scotland and that Burns was born just 14 years after Culloden – the aftermath of which was the brutal Highland Clearances with murder, rape and pillage all on the orders of the Duke of Cumberland who, in turn, was rewarded with a new £25,000 per annum stipend over and above what he received from the Civil list. The Duke then had some music especially written for him by Handel and had a rose named in his honour, all as a reward for his excellent work in the highlands. The Rose was called The Sweet William, though in Scotland it is sometimes known as “The Stinking Willie!”.

How when Burns published his poetry,.the bagpipes and Tartan were illegal, only the King’s English had to be spoken, there were still people being transported to the colonies for the slightest thing, and so publishing in a Scottish Dialect was dangerous if not illegal.

How he had supported American Independence, toasted George Washington, the French Revolution and Madam Guillotine.

Perhaps I could talk of the relationship between Burns and Jean Armour, who he technically married twice and how when her father threw her out between those two marriages Burns arranged lodgings etc for her, broke off his relationship with “Nancy” McElhone, and how the couple would bring up at least one of Burns’ children by another woman as their own.

How the Burns Club in Atlanta Georgia is an exact replica of the cottage in Alloway and how it had been the idea of, and initially paid for, by an Austrian man who poured the very first coca cola

— and so on and so on.

I have to be honest and say that most Burns Suppers I have been to have fallen into two categories:

The first is where groups of tweedie suited men conduct a supper with some wearing big chains of office which seem to say ” I am the President of the Burns Club and your no!” They then proceed to toast the Queen, and the lassies who are nowhere in sight, and reply on behalf of the lassies who are nowhere in sight and go on to make dreadfully dull heartfelt speeches!

I hated such dinners. Apart from the hypocrisy of there being nae women present and the fact that I doubt Burns would be too quick to toast the Monarch ( check out his poetry written on the window of a pub within view of Stirling Castle to see one example of why not )………. theses dinners were just awful.

The second kind of dinner was the big official ones where celebs come along and say damn nearly anything they want — except anything to do with Burns— in the name of a Burns supper. Yes. there would be some reference to the man and his poetry but scarce little– and as for the crowd? Well they were all professionals, hell bent on networking for professional purposes as opposed to anything else and who were in no way interested in Burns and what he had to say or what impact he had had on literature and society.

Now there is nothing wrong with networking at a dinner but it just struck me that they could do that at any old dinner and that any dinner they attended had feck all do with anyone’s memory let alone the Bard’s immortal memory!

I have been to good Burns suppers- they do exist – but in other parts of the world Burns suppers are inclusive of women, are much more relaxed affairs and end with a ceilidh. In essence, they are a party where other people’s poetry is even recited and appreciated amidst Burns’ own works.

And that’s another thing— Burns wrote loads of poems– not just the ten or twelve that we are spoonfed in this country. He also collected or wrote hundreds of songs and tunes for no payment– yet many of these are only rarely aired in favour of the same old, same old, ones being churned out every January.

So, I sort of wanted to point out all of this to my friends as part of my daft wee toast– but didn’t want to appear as giving a lecture ( jeez I am not qualified to give a lecture on anything let alone Burns )

Above all else, when someone speaks at any kind of event it has to be an entertainment, easy on the ear and the brain, with hopefully a few laughs in between.

So, I came up with a wee rhyme of my own which incorporates a couple of Burns lines to Simon Grey and the early poem “The Fornicator”– which was an early swing at what Burns saw as the hypocrisy of the Kirk ( which virtually ran the local communities when Burns was alive ) and the Calvinistic type of minister which abounded at the time. There were those with a more liberal view but these were few and far between, and generally it was a dangerous time for man who was too liberal in his public words.

Robert Burns was a brave man, but he still published many of his words anonymously even after he had become famous! His words were often too controversial to be openly published in his name.

My wee rhyme is far from perfect and my views on Burns and his life are not in any way meant to suggest any expertise on the man and his work. This is just my take on what I Know and have read about a quite remarkable man.

It also wasn’t intended to form part of any blog but as some folk have asked me to write it out then here it is, although I have taken out the odd minor local reference which no one other than my neighbours would get or connect with.

Oh and if you went to the big fancy Lord Provost’s Burns Supper, I don’t really think everyone there is a hypocrite! I am just taking a generic swipe at some folk I have encountered at a past event and I mean it to be no more than a gentle dig at some… professional …..professional …..types!!

Burnsbegg is the name of a local street where I live and Luggy Heid is pal of mine who just happens to live there.

Lastly below my wee rhyme are the full verses of what my Sligo born Grandfather                   (affectionately known as “Steptoe” in our house) thought was the greatest message ever written into a piece of poetry. All I will say is that any examination of the history of poetry, literature, social philosophy, enlightened thinking, American History or damn near anything else seems to suggest that Steptoe was right!

Cheers

BRTH

——————————————————————————————————————-

So here we are, in a Doctors hoose,

tae hear Holy Wullie’s prayer and tae a moose

Wae Drouthy Neighbhours wha neighbours meet,

Eatin haggis, tatties and ee’n a neep!

We’ve abandoned our weans- be they boy be they lass

So we can gae oot, and sip fae a glass

Teenagers in charge wi coca cola and raitions

Such a Parcel O Rogues — all on play stations!

But if you gae doon tae ol Glasgow Toon

For the princely sum o’ one hunnered poon

You can awe sit in— at the Lord Provost’s Burns baw

Wi they chains a’ office –and dignitaries awe!

Aye eight hundred and fifty mannies and madams

Will hear an event chaired by Kaye Adams

A who’s who o the great will be making speeches

An Fiona Kennedy sings tae the high notes she reaches!

Eight Hundred and fifty! Professionally rated

Lawyers and folk — the wans Robbie hated!

Will rub shoulder to shoulder all wi a plan

Toadyin tae bankers and funny shake hauns.

They are there for appearance sake, awe hypocrits

Swearing blind tae an anither that they love burns tae bits!

The kinda folk that aul Burns would see through

Black Ties and Ball Gowns– and probably fou!

You awe know the type, they’re pompous—- like Paxman

Make no mistake Rob wuild gie them the axe man

Jeremy says Burns is—- all shortbread and sporrans

And wrote in a language which to Paxman wis Foreign.

Now Rob once met a man, who was like the newsreader

A Kings English man—a certain in-breeder

He met him in Duns —-a right wealthy man

Who thought at the poetry he would try his hand

He sent Burns his poetry for to review

and Robbie replied with his opinion so true!

A note he did send to this Simon Gray

It said “ Oh Simon Gray- You are dull today”

But big heided Simon he sent Burns some more

And gie him more verses o’er which to pour!

Burns looked, and he read and then he considered

Sent Simon a new note- and he didne dither

Here’s what he wrote!

“Dulness, with redoubted sway,

Has seized the wits of Simon Gray.”

Now Grey was astounded and plain undeterred

and like Paxman the pompous thought Burns he had erred

He sent yet more poems and DE- rided Burns,

so Rob aimed all his wit , fired all his big guns!

Dear Simon Gray,

The other day,

When you sent me some rhyme,

I could not then just ascertain

Its worth, for want of time.

But now today, good Mr. Gray,

I’ve read it o’er and o’er,

Tried all my skill, but find I’m still

Just where I was before.

We auld wives’ minions

gie our opinions,

Solicited or no;

Then of its fau’ts

my honest thoughts

I’ll give – and here they go.

Such damned bombast

no time that’s past

Will show, or time to come,

So, Simon dear,

your song I’ll tear,

And with it wipe my bum.

 

Rob he wrote for the real common man—

for Provosts and Paxmen he’d no care a damn!

But neighbours? Guidd neighbours—awe at the nappy?

Reciting a poem? That made Burns gang happy!

You see Burns was the man! Far more than a poet

But maist folk in Scotland they just dinna know it

For we ‘re no taught Robbie Burns in our classrooms and schools

Bar my luv is a red rose- aye that’s enough for the fools.

There is nothing about Robert Burns just the man

And that’s quite deliberate- you see that was the plan!

Burns he was funny, not dirgeful nor deid

Not the domain o strange men toastin lassies in tweed

When they guys go speak of the bard, yes their borin!

Toastin lassies no there – they would leave you tae snoring!

So let me tell a tale that is true and is apt

How the real Robert Burns was just plain Kidnapped!

Burns dies in July seven—teen ninety six

Right away Pitt the younger he’s caught in a fix

Ten to twelve THOUSAND mourners come from near and afar

To pay their respect to the first superstar!

But in London, Pitt wonders at this show O emotion

Concerned it’s the start of a rebels commotion

For Burns toasted Washington and preached revolution

Wanted rid o the king for republic solution

And did he no sing of events at Culloden?

And rant oan an oan about Scotland downtrodden?

What’s worse he caused outrage, yes that could be seen

When he openly praised— Madam Guillotine!

No Rob had nae fear in aw’t that he said

He wanted nae slavery, and cut the king’s head!

So Pitt was afraid of this Burnsian curse

And so when Robbie died he reached for his purse!

He paid all the Burns’es— every woman and man

Children and siblings, took control o the clan

Took weans down tae London gave them jobs and a station

And moulded Burns legend for Kirk and for nation

But Burns he escaped though some words were suppressed

But awe o’er the world he’s revered as the best!

Coleridge and Shelley, Wordsworth and Byron,

Tennyson, Keats— they all found him Inspirin

That’s why he’s more statues o’er any other author

Not Shakespeare or Dante or Dickens or Chaucer

His music’s played all over- from the great wall of china

The Americas, Africa, Asia east- Asia minor

He’s inspired musicians both the deid and the livin

Shostakovitch, Meindleson- even Bob Dylan!

Tam O Shanter you know Jackson’s Thriller inspired

Ayrshire boglies and ghouls wi a moonwalk was fired

He has an Album o Bard songs that’s yit no released

Alas like poor Robbie now Michael’s deceased!

But what’s never revealed, only hinted as rumour

Was Robbie’s rude wit and rebellious humour

How bout the time he was made to confess,

of unlawful liaison wi a girl he called Bess?

Tae the Kirk we was summonsed to face a rebuke,

Fae the Minster and the hypocrites that made Robbie puke

They abused him and brusied him wi Bess by his side

And warned of damnation and woe may betide

And then they demanded a monetary fine,

That’s a guid way to pay for a meenester’s wine

Thus many a man ne’er admitted his guilt

if he found himself under a young maiden’s quilt

They denied they had ever been in her bed

and would leave girls and their weans as if they were dead

But Burns he was different, he loved every wean,

he was never afraid to gae an his name

He knew just the poor faced a cutty step fine,

but the landed and monied could continue just fine

With no word fae the Meenister– awe white collars and black

— and so Robbie Burns he went on the attack!

Confined to the hoose by a Meenisters words

he picked up his pen— oh as sharp as a sword

And before he was famous he penned this we verse,

a literary way of showin a meenester his erse!

Ye jovial boys who love the joys.

The blissful joys of Lovers;

Yet dare avow with dauntless brow,

When th’ bony lass discovers;

Pray draw near and lend an ear,

And welcome in a Prater,

For I’ve lately been on quarantine,

A proven Fornicator.

Before the Congregation wide

I pass’d the muster fairly,

My handsome Betsey by my side,

We gat our ditty rarely;

But my downcast eye by chance did spy

What made my lips to water,

Those limbs so clean where I, between,

Commenc’d a Fornicator.

With rueful face and signs of grace

I pay’d the buttock-hire,

The night was dark and thro’ the park

I could not but convoy her;

A parting kiss, what could I less,

My vows began to scatter,

My Betsey fell-lal de dal lal lal,

I am a Fornicator.

But for her sake this vow I make,

And solemnly I swear it,

That while I own a single crown,

She’s welcome for to share it;

And my roguish boy his Mother’s joy,

And the darling of his Pater,

For him I boast my pains and cost,

Although a Fornicator.

Ye wenching blades whose hireling jades

Have tipt you off blue-boram,

I tell ye plain, I do disdain

To rank you in the Quorum;

But a bony lass upon the grass

To teach her esse Mater,

And no reward but for regard,

O that’s a Fornicator.

Your warlike Kings and Heros bold,

Great Captains and Commanders;

Your mighty Cesars fam’d of old,

And Conquering Alexanders;

fields they fought and laurels bought

And bulwarks strong did batter,

But still they grac’d our noble list

And ranked Fornicator!!!

Aye Burns was funny, Burns was rude

But Burns he gets you thinking

And never did a one think more

than the one they ca’ed Abe Lincoln

He made a Burns centenary Speech in Springfield Illinois

And warned the states Burns was his mate and really was the boy

He preached a man’s a man for awe that, –demanded the end of slavery

On Burn’s word he went to war– an acknowledged act o bravery

Its seems absurd but those Burns words that spoke of social revolution

From Lincoln’s mouth reached way down south and changed the Constitution.

The Russians shouted Burns’ name and placed him on a stamp

Called him “ The people’s poet” of liberty a champ.

Two hundred countries know his name and celebrate his fame

No Dickens Dinners, Byron Breakfasts could ever be the same

Scott Fae Embra wi awe his tales of Ivanhoe and that

Said Burns was best, above awe the rest – makes eithers look like tat!

So good neighbors, my tale ye’ve heard about this lad caw’ed Burns

We’el hae some music, recite some words and i’ll gae someone else a turn

But before I go there’s some things to know that you’d no find oot in Glesga

So bend yer ear for this I fear is what ye will all remember!

You see Robbie had a baby sister — they called her Isabella

An she married a quarry boy a nice young Ayrshire fella

She had 9 children of her ain- 3 girls and six young men

But fae a horse her husband fell and never rose again.

Now Bella struggled wi her family and needed Young Pitt’s money

Cause being poor when weans are newer- that just isny funny

In return for Crown she was meant to drown Rob’s name and his opinions

But Bella’s way would save the day, round Pitt she would run rings man

You see her husband dead was a Mr Begg and she would take his name

But awe her weans wouldna be the same and would continue uncle Robbie’s fame

So Bella’s nine spent a their time calling themsels “ Burns Begg ”

And Bella kept young Pitt’s fair coin and innocence she plead

Now Burns Begg is a name wee know , and there rests a luggy heid

And know the roof that’s oe’r yon heid— is only there cause Burns is deid

Through time and land the Burns Begg clan saw out every generation

Burns Begg’s the name and they maintained it awe for preservation

In Nineteen Hundred and Twenty seven a Burns Begg looked for work

And strange to say, he came this way a Meenester at oor ain Kirk.

Up station Road he often go’ed and for 50 years he stayed

An I bet you,that this is true, n’er a cutty step fine was paid!

He proclaimed awe Burns, preached in turns of God and of the bard

The message clear after twa hundred years, to learn it isny hard.

 

Man love a woman and love her good and take her in yer arms

Love her heart and love her soul and awe her womanly charms.

Girls love yer mannie, Bill or Danny even though he be unco fou

And love yer weans, how e’er they came- no matter what they do.

An love awe men and awe ye ken for a man’s a man for awe that

An if ye hae a dream wi a bonny jean ye’ll conquer all and awe that

But a word o advice tae the girls so nice before ah go awa man

It’s a word ay advice for a Sunday Morn or any day at awe man

Dinna go bare legged tae the BurnsBegg Kirk, and remember Betsey’s faw

Cause the Buttock’s hire- well it did expire afore Bess n Rob hit the graveyard wa!

And for whit they got fined, they once again entwined and tae hell wi reprehension

But Eternity’s dear and Burns Begg’s main fear wis a street o hooses wi duff extensions

A street whaur drouthie neighbours meet, getting fou and unco happy

Yes its true the minister knew where his congregations was on the nappy

But the time has come to be toastin burns’ memory immoral and immortal

I hope this air has been guid and fair and on occasion made you chortle

Cause Robert Burns’ spirit is not deid, That spirit knows nae borders

He talked of freedom for the poor, and of a whole new social order

Tae a mouse or louse, where ere yer house Burns’ poetry was aye first class

His words today—well they still hold sway– and so to him I raise my glass!!!

——————————————————————————————————————-
Is there for honest Poverty
That hings his head, an’ a’ that;
The coward slave-we pass him by,
We dare be poor for a’ that!
For a’ that, an’ a’ that.
Our toils obscure an’ a’ that,
The rank is but the guinea’s stamp,
The Man’s the gowd for a’ that.

What though on hamely fare we dine,
Wear hoddin grey, an’ a that;
Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine;
A Man’s a Man for a’ that:
For a’ that, and a’ that,
Their tinsel show, an’ a’ that;
The honest man, tho’ e’er sae poor,
Is king o’ men for a’ that.

Ye see yon birkie, ca’d a lord,
Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that;
Tho’ hundreds worship at his word,
He’s but a coof for a’ that:
For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
His ribband, star, an’ a’ that:
The man o’ independent mind
He looks an’ laughs at a’ that.

A prince can mak a belted knight,
A marquis, duke, an’ a’ that;
But an honest man’s abon his might,
Gude faith, he maunna fa’ that!
For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
Their dignities an’ a’ that;
The pith o’ sense, an’ pride o’ worth,
Are higher rank than a’ that.

Then let us pray that come it may,
(As come it will for a’ that,)
That Sense and Worth, o’er a’ the earth,
Shall bear the gree, an’ a’ that.
For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
It’s coming yet for a’ that,
That Man to Man, the world o’er,
Shall brothers be for a’ that.

The only one I didn’t want to punch me? Was that– son of a preacher– man!!!

Good Morning,

and a happy New Year to one and all!

The other day I awoke to the announcement that the search was on for up to 15,000 volunteers to assist with the 2014 Commonwealth Games which will be held in Glasgow, Scotland. I add the  “Scotland” bit because there are places called Glasgow elsewhere on the planet– although some of them are outwith the Commonwealth of Nations.

15,000 volunteers. That will be official volunteers of course.

However, make no mistake there will be others who have no direct or official connection with the Commonwealth Games or Glasgow City Council who will be on the look out for volunteers or guests for the 2014 games.

Take for instance The Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI)! This is a fellowship of lay businessmen whose main purpose is to bring interest to the Christian gospel. Theologically, the organisation has its roots in Pentecostalism and from what little research I have conducted it seems to me that the Fellowship suggests that its members aim to be amongst the happiest people on the planet whilst at the same time spreading the word of the Christian gospels.

Now I have never been to one of their meetings and don’t even know if they have a chapter in Glasgow, but what I do know is that the fellowship has branches throughout the world and is a thriving organisation. Furthermore, I have to confess that any organisation who apparently strives to spread the idea of being permanently “happy” folk seems ok to me.

However, what drew my attention was the fact that the last time that the Commonwealth Games came to the UK ( Manchester 2002 ) the fellowship decided to hold  a large convention in the city and sought volunteer or visiting preachers to attend their meetings and address the faithful.

And what a selection of people they had to choose from?

Among the candidates there was the head of nightclub and bar security in Liverpool– an American Pentecostal Preacher from Alabama— A professional wrestling referee— A charity worker from Walsall who was also a Patron of the Sharon Bradshaw Trust ( a children’s charity based in Warrington, which helps children with life threatening conditions, and their families ) amongst others.

It was quite a list, but in truth the fellowship’s decision was easy because all of the above eventually addressed their meeting— because all of the above came in the form of just one man!!

Oh and I forgot to add that the same man has been voted by many as the hardest hitting heavyweight puncher of all time– and here you must imagine Ali’s wide eyed stare and his exaggerated voice when I repeat—- OF AAAALLLLLLL TIME!!!!!

In fact in any poll of hardest hitters that I can find the lowest he has ever been ranked is at number 10!

Yet in 2002 he was the chosen guest preacher to the Fellowship— whose mantra is the gospel, the Christian way of life — and yes — being —- HAPPY!

Now in case some of you are jumping the gun and thinking that the identity of this holy man must be George Foreman— think again!

In fact George– who is truly one of the most smiley & happiest people on earth these days — was asked live on air by David Letterman who had hit him hardest in the course of his boxing career?

Sporting a black eye and a huge grin, George didn’t hesitate with his answer”

” Gerry Cooney!” Proclaimed George who  then goes on to list a series of hard hitters including Cleveland “The Big Cat” Willaims, Ron Lyle and others — but Gerry Cooney came out top with George explaining that when Cooney hit you your whole body vibrated even if you blocked the shot!

Now George is the size of a New York Block — he is huge — wide as a mountain — so when he says a guy hits hard then take it as gospel that the guy hits hard — really hard!

But Cooney is not our mystery preacher either! No — in the course of the same interview, Lettermen throws in the name of our holy man and asks George about how hard he hits?

Big George is once again unequivocal with the answer

” Oh! — I never fought HIM!! —– Thank Goodness!!”

In the same interview, Foreman states that Cooney hit far harder than Frazier. Like George, Smoking Joe wanted no part of the preacher, and Joe’s manager — the great Eddie Futch — made sure that Joe would never get in the ring with our puncher.

However, Mohammed Ali, Larry Holmes, Jimmy Ellis, Ron Lyle, Jimmy Young, Ken Norton, Randall ” Tex ” Cobb, Joe Bugner, Terrel Williams, and numerous others are all unanimous in answering the same question that was put to George Foreman:

” Who was the hardest puncher you ever faced?”

All have the same answer.

SHAVERS!! Earnie Shavers!!!

Earnie Dee Shavers was born in Garland Alabama on 31st August 1945. He would eventually have to leave Alabama at the “request” of the Ku Klux Klan with the rest of his family when his father got into a dispute over the price of a mule.

Earnie pitched up in Warren Ohio and was working away as a manual worker when he decided to take up boxing at the ripe old age of 22!

Now Earnie was not a great boxer, his stamina was always suspect, his chin was not the strongest, at 6ft he was not the biggest and he was not the most skillful. He denies none of the above. He started boxing because someone looked at his frame and suggested he might be good at it. Besides, Earnie had fallen in with the wrong crowd and was heading for skid row and he was bright enough to know it. Boxing was a way out of that life and it was a way of earning a few extra bucks which would come in handy.

So, in search of some money and a better way of life Earnie entered the ring with no great illusions as to his abilities and his strengths — and there was only one strength — a right hand that must have come from — well—- God!

Oh and the left hand was pretty nifty as well.

Fight fans reflecting on Earnie’s career say he was great box office because you never knew what you were going to get! Would you get ponderous slow Earnie, sluggish Earnie, ambling Earnie? Or would you get the ” Oh Jesus, the lights just went out” Earnie?

Like many fighters, Earnie hung on to the career in the ring for too long and at the tail end of the career he lost a few to younger men who may not have stood in his way for too long when he was younger!

That leaves you with stats which show that he fought 89 professional fights losing 14 times and drawing once. That then means that he won 74 professional fights in the heavyweight division at a time when it really was the land of the giants!

Further, of the 74 wins, an amazing 68 were knockouts, and of those knockouts 40 of them came in the first two rounds!! The lesson being that once Earnie hit you– well you stayed hit!

Many articles on Earnie start with the explanation that he was slow, ponderous, never top notch but that he had the most devastating one punch power in the history of boxing.

Shavers’ punching power has lead to some of the funniest quotes I have ever heard from members of the boxing fraternity. These guys are not necessarily the most literate but their words tell you of their genuine……. heartfelt……. experience of being in there with Shavers:

” Nobody hits like Shavers! If someone hit harder than Shavers I’d have to shoot him!” Tex Cobb

“Earnie hit me harder than any other fighter, including Mike Tyson. He hit me and I was face down on the canvas hearing saxophonist Jimmy Tillis”  —– Larry Holmes

” Earnie hit me, and the only thing that saved me was the Canvass! I was out but hit the Canvass that hard it woke me up!” —–  Larry Holmes

“Earnie could punch you in the neck with his right hand and break your ankle.” Tex Cobb

“Earnie hit me so hard, he shook my kinfolk back in Africa” Mohammed Ali

” Strongest man I ever fought? Earnie Shavers! Far stronger than me — hit far harder. I thought he was a bum! Man he ain’t no bum — he hit harder than anyone — hurt me bad!” —- Mohammed Ali

“Hey man, that’s the hardest I’ve ever been hit in my life. And George Foreman could punch, but none of them could hit like Earnie Shavers did. When he hit you, the lights went out. I can laugh about it now, but at the time,it wasn’t funny.” Ron Lyle

“Hardest i’ve ever been hit? Earnie Shavers. The ground came up and met me. That’s all I remember.” Ron Lyle

“Shavers hit so hard he turned horse p*ss into gasoline! He hit me so hard he brought back tomorrow. When he hit me… I was seeing pink rats and cats and animals smoking cigarettes. I was in the land of make-believe.”  James Tillis

“The baddest motherf*cker I fought was Earnie Shavers. That motherf*cker can make July into June and made me jump over the motherf*ckin’ moon. That motherf*cker hit so hard, he’ll bring back tomorrow. He hit me so hard, I thought I was on the corner smoking a cigarette and eating a spam sandwich. That’s how hard that motherf*cker hit.” James Tillis

And so it goes on. Mills Lane the referee and federal judge said that he had never seen anyone who punched like Shavers and never will again in the future.

Legendary Boxing journalist and commentator Bert Sugar said of Shavers that his punching wasn’t “Thunderous” it was “Murderous” — Earnie could half a horse!!!!

Earnie was prone to cuts and prone to run out of steam after 5 or 6 rounds which is why he never won the big prize, but even in fights that he lost against the very best he asked questions of the guys that were king of the pile at the time and forced them to answer if they wanted to keep their crown.

When Ali’s Doctor Ferdie Pacheco learned that Ali had been signed to fight Shavers a couple of fights after the Thriller in Manilla his reaction was immediate. ” Not Shavers! Jesus anybody but Shavers! Fight two other guys at once if you want just not Shavers!”

Ali was already showing signs of long term damage to the head and Pacheco was not at all happy about the fight going ahead— it would be the last time that he would sit in Ali’s corner as he quit immediately after the fight and would later write to Ali, Angelo Dundee and Ali’s wife and family explaining why Ali should retire.

Ali and Shavers went an amazing 15 rounds. Over half the television sets in America were tuned into the fights from Las Vegas. Only Frazier and Norton had beaten Ali and this was to be his nineteenth defence of the heavyweight title. Norton was commentating at ringside— he would have his day with Earnie a couple of years down the line— it would last less than a round with the man who gave Ali such trouble being forced to leave the ring in less than a round as Earnie just blew him away.

There was a strange relationship between Earnie and Ali. Earnie loved the champion, absolutely revered him. In turn, Ali had previously allowed Shavers to use his training camp for nothing in preparation for fights.

Before a very pro Ali crowd at Las Vegas the two squared off. No one thought this would go very far. Ali was a far better fighter than Earnie. Earnie had no stamina but always had the punchers chance. Ali had christened him ” The Acorn” because of his bald head and in the ring before the fight Ali rubbed Earnie’s bald dome and clearly clowned and joked in outrageous fashion.

Once the action got under way, even Earnie joked and mocked Ali’s punching power– and then things got serious!

In the second round Earnie hit Ali repeatedly. With one punch he staggered Ali so bad that the champion instinctively had to grab the ropes with his hands to stay on his feet. If ever proof were needed that Ali took a hell of a punch then this was it. Instead of going down as many had before, Ali feigned and acted — he waved Shavers in, pretending he wasn’t hurt which caused Shavers to hesitate and back off when he should have gone in and blasted away. He was that close to the title.

Shavers himself describes the moment. He knew he had hurt Ali — at least he thought he had — and then Ali waved him in and started acting goofy. Later Earnie explained that Ali’s actions got him thinking ” Hang on — this is Ali! He wants me to walk in — look what happened to George?” and so he waited… and his chance was gone — although the fight ebbed and flowed for 15 rounds.

When Earnie fought Holmes for the title exactly two years later he wasn’t given much of a chance. Holmes had shaded a decision over Norton to win the title and had already beaten Shavers comprehensively on points in an earlier bout. Again, Holmes was a far better boxer with a devastating ramrod straight left which in this second fight would open up horrific cuts on Earnie’s eyes.

Then came the seventh round:

When Larry Holmes fell to a Shavers right it was like watching a tree falling! He went down in a wide arc and literally bounced off the canvass.

Amazingly he got up! He didn’t know where he was when he got up but by God he got up — held on staggered around, blinked like fury and survived. Earnie would catch him again in the 9th round and send him to the canvass once more although this time it would officially be classed as a slip. When you see it —- it looks like a big belt of a slip to the head!

Again, Earnie would lose out to a better and an incredibly brave champion but he had thrilled the crowd if not Larry Holmes.

Shavers described Holmes as the best fighter he ever faced saying that he fought Holmes the first time and got well beaten, but the second time he did alright. However he would later be brutally frank: ” Listen, I could fight Larry Holmes 25 times, and Larry would win all 25 bouts cause he was better than me and could take a hell of a punch.”

Of Ali Shavers later revealed ” Man I didn’t really want to hit him at all. Here is the greatest of all time, someone who I admired and worshipped— I didn’t want to hit him at all but I was going for the title? So I hit him and went 15 good rounds with the Greatest. He won– I got paid a lot of money and enhanced my reputation a bit so we both didn’t do too bad!”

Today, Shavers, Ali and Foreman in particular enjoy a very close relationship. Once a year Shavers hosts a joint dinner and fundraiser with Ali raising money for underprivileged children. He is vehement when it comes to Ali. ” Don’t feel sorry for the man — he doesn’t want you to feel sorry for him. He is fine — laughs and jokes behind his disease and illness — he ain’t sorry for himself!”

Similarly, with smiley George, he is at his best. They have preached together, talk boxing together and do a lot of laughing together.

Earnie has been married several times, but a good few years ago he came to England and fell in love with a women who was his long term partner. Her Nephew had boxed with Earnie in America and had set up a security business and he asked Earnie to come on board.

Can  you imagine the scene in Liverpool– where if you stood in line to get into certain bars you would first have to get by the large bald black man? Above his head there is a TV monitor showing someone knocking seven bells out of various boxers in the ring– with the slow realisation that the guy doing the banging was standing right in front of you. Many articles say that when he was doing his security work Earnie gained the “respect” of the customers!!

Respect? — well that is one way of putting it!!

Shavers did a huge amount of charity work in his time in England — lecturing to school kids and colleges about choosing the right path in life, avoiding drugs, believing in yourself and so on.

He did a lot of after dinner speaking with his deep gravel voice which booms out of his frame.

His words are clear and his smile is huge. He suffers no ill effects from his time in the ring — and his opinion is clear!

He says he boxed at a great time when the heavyweight division had any number of guys that could have been champion at that time and at any other time and his views are clear.

The Klitchco’s? — not fit to carry Ali’s Gym Bag?

Tyson? He blew it? Blew his character even more than his career! Conducted himself in a way whereby no one will want to speak to him about Boxing when he is finished.

There is a story by a well known journalist about Tyson meeting Earnie for the first time when Iron Mike was on a visit to England. The journo describes the meeting and Tyson looking at Shavers and wondering if he could have taken him in his heyday? In turn the journalist says Shavers looked back and looked to be wondering if he could take Tyson — now at the age of 55?

Later Shavers would say ” I’d have knocked him out! Mike walks forward on to a punch and he didn’t like to get hit — and I hit!”

Shavers is now back in the States — still preaching, doing boxing shows, personal appearances, charity dinners and so on.

He will talk to you about anyone in boxing apparently:

He has appeared on the Late Late show in Ireland when it was hosted by Ron Lyle where the two of them just talked boxing. He has his own favored haunt in Dublin where there is a treasured photo of him behind the bar with a pint of Guinness in his huge hand!

He says of Foreman ” Has he tried to sell you a grill yet? Man if he gives me another grill I swear I will hit him with it!”

Earnie is also certain about his greatest victory — it was against Don King! ” Hey I beat him in court– not many can say that.”

He had a dispute with King over his management — and many say that had Earnie been better managed he would have been Champion, but Shavers believes that he was in with a great bunch and was just glad to be in the game at the time.

Earnie co-penned an Autobiography which is as good a read about this period in the heavyweight division. It is an unusual book, telling a wholly human story about a journeyman boxer who has that one big punchers chance. It also tells you about a lot of guys in the same division, how they had day jobs and what they did after their careers ended. They can’t all be champions! It is called “Welcome to the big time!” and is well worth a read.

Today Mohammed Ali is 71 years old — he will receive cards and good wishes aplenty!

Earnie Shavers has no doubt. ” Ali was the greatest! Strongest in character in and out of the ring! Biggest Man I ever met!”

No doubt Earnie will send a card and George will send yet another grill and possibly even a steak to cook on it. That is the way it is with these guys!

I am loathe to put up links to You Tube on here but go take a look at some clips of Earnie and notice how the odd fighter reacted to being hit by Shavers! The number of big guys — well known guys — who would beat the count, hang on to the ropes or the referee and then take two steps forward before once again falling to the ground is incredible — almost comedic. However those scenes are a testament to two things. The first is the bravery and instinct of those men — the will to get up and fight on which is dredged out of the pit of somewhere. The second of course is Shavers’ power — when Earnie got that right hand on he effectively separated man from his senses — temporarily detaching the brain from the spinal chord leaving the limbs unable to follow the brain’s commands or the brain unable to give those commands in the first place. It is actually quite frightening.

However if the Fellowship were to have a conference in Glasgow for the 2014 Commonwealth Games they could do worse than invite a few words from Earnie Dee Shavers.

One of my favorite Gospel stories is the parable of the man who always stands at the back of the church.

However If Earnie was conducting the service — I for one would be happy to sit in the front pew!

Oh and if we went for a pint — I would want him on my side in a fight!

N “Nobody hits like Shavers. If anybody hit harder than Shavers, I’d shoot him.”obody hits like Shavers. If anybody hit harder than Shavers, I’d shoot him.”
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